Support Story: "Pls, Make a Tutorial"

As an individual developer, I convinced to fulfil support job for my customers. Each app in App Store should have a support link. For this purpose I use Google Forms (free hosting, pretty convenient). Periodic Timer also has a Facebook group. And that's amazing, that people really tend to write questions and suggestions to me! Though there always a percent of offtopic. I think the regular sharing of funny conversations is something that may happen on this blog.

And today's hero (call him Wob for anonymity) was someone, who pretty obstinately wanted me tutorial to the Periodic Timer (which is totally simple and intuitive app, BTW). He wrote directly to my support email and we had this funny conversation:

Wob <wobbbb@gmail.com>
Feb 14
to me
I just downloaded Periodic Timer but can find no instructions on how to use and fine-tune it.
Can I set the sound it makes or the volume, for example?
Do you have a set of instructions you can email me?
Thanks.


Periodic Timer Support <periodictimer.sup@gmail.com>
Feb 14
to Wob
Periodic Timer is simple and intuitive app that doesn't provide complicated options and can be can be understood without any instructions.
Change volume of Periodic Timer like you change like you do it with Alarm or Ringtone.
Good Luck :)


Wob <wobbbb@gmail.com>
Feb 14
to me
If it were as simple and intuitive as you claim, I wouldn’t have asked you for basic instructions. Please explain. (I can’t be the only person who’s asked for this information.)


Periodic Timer Support <periodictimer.sup@gmail.com>
Feb 14
to Wob
You are :)
How about the first link from the google? https://www.wikihow.com/Adjust-the-Volume-on-iOS-10
Have a nice day.


Wob <wobbbb@gmail.com>
Feb 15
to me
I think you misunderstand. I didn’t want just info about volume.
How do I use your app: 1, 2, 3? It’s too minimalist for me.

Thanks.

And then the story continues, tutorial-guy creates a new email for disguise, something like w.wob@gmail.com, and continues to solicit me for tutorial. I answered quite roughly:

Just look at yourself:

I can’t figure out how to successfully use your app. It’s very frustrating. Can you make a better tutorial? Also, I’ve already upgraded but i keep getting reminders to upgrade again. Please fix these bugs

You are creating multiple emails and spam me with "ples make a tutorial" messages. Why do you even do this? I suppose you are one of retired mans who has plenty of free time but no one to talk to.

I want to tell you one simple thing: this app is my hobby so, please, don't wait I will run around you trying to satisfy any of your whims. I have no free time, and also this app doesn't brings any money at all.

So, I hope you quite clever to understand me, if not - don't be surprised why I ignore you.

Still not sure, was that an attempt to flirt with me?